Stereotyping Steve’s Guide to the World, Part I: Canada

Part I: Canada

Overview
A truly wicked place, Canada, also known as ‘America Jr.,’ embodies all that is bad with today’s society. Children are focused solely on becoming hockey players. Those that do not make it resort to cutting down trees. Canadian culture is limited to watching hockey games. Also, watching reenactments of famous hockey games at the Wayne Gretzky Theater is a popular pastime of Canadians.

National Anthem
O Canada
O Canada
(repeat 14 times)
O Canada
O Canada

What do Canadians do for a living?



Accomplished Canadians


National Motto
“I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK”

Interesting Facts
-The Canadian unemployment rate is unique among all nations. The following diagram illustrates this:


-Bears outnumber humans on a ratio of 53:1

-Canadians are also unique in the way they die, as can be seen with this diagram:



-Steve

Lessons of Life with Manatee Max, Part I: Indecision

I'm not really sure if I should be submitting this. Its probably an important lesson, I think, but really it depends. Ok, here goes.

If I could give you only one recommendation, boys and girls, it would be to be decisive. Or no. It would probably be something else. Either way, it is extremely important in this day and age, I think, to not be indecisive. Well, probably. Certainly you should always consider the alternatives before making a decision, but you shouldn't hesitate when making said decision. So think it over. But not for too long. In fact, you should probably always go with your gut feeling. But then again, you definitely do not want to make the wrong decision. So in fact you should take your time when making a decision. Give mixed signals if pressured. Avoid the question. Give yourself time to think. It doesn't matter how long you take: do the right thing. But its probably better to make a quick decision. Indecisiveness is one of the many tools of the devil. Although it could be preferable to take the time to make the right decision. I don't know what to tell you. Be decisive, I guess. But don't quote me on that.

-Manatee Max