In case there was ever any doubt...

Its official.

Ramundo sucks at blogging.

An Urgent Notice

Like the population of ringworms in a wrestler's crotch, Ramundovision's activity has its ups and its downs. As of now, consider Ramundovision out of the down and into the up. The crew apologizes profoundly for the lack of creativity in recent posts, and so pledges, from here on in, a boost in quality, a reduction in length and an upsurge in consistency. As a victorious antelope on the summit of Mount Vesuvius we shall triumph. Read on, dear Reader, read on.

*We also promise to work on our metaphors.

Lessons of Life with Manatee Max, Part IV

Of Majors and Tortillas

If there is one thing my academic trajectory has taught me, it is this:

There are two types of people in this world: those who accept their mistakes, and those who major in Economics.

Of course only those of you who have taken a minimal course load in economics will be able to appreciate this lesson, but as they say, a lesson learned is a dollar earned. Which leads me to my next point.

A tortilla burned is a lesson learned. A lesson learned is a dollar earned. We can conclude therefore that a tortilla burned is a dollar earned, which is of course absurd. Next time you burn your tortilla, remember this. By burning the tortilla you are spurning an axiom.

A tortilla burned is an axiom spurned.

-Max

ECFB Part II

Part II of ECFB (Enlightened Conversations from Beyond):

Ramundo Sr.: So how was your first day?

Ramundo: Not bad, but I only had 1 of the three classes.

Ramundo Sr.: I see. And how about your classmates? Did your classmates change?

Ramundo: Umm, I dunno, a few of them got haircuts I guess.

Ramundo Sr.: ...What?

Ramundo: What?

*confusion*

Ramundo Sr.: I meant if you have the same classmates or different ones. I could care less about their hair.

Ramundo: Oh. In that case no, they didn't change.

Legendary.

Ramundovision Cares, Part I

Ramundo, Max, Steve and the crew have decided to take the time to start a genuinely useful segment that will hopefully one day serve each and every one of Ramundovision's loyal readers. After all, what would the world be like if we didn't all give back to our community?

Ramundovision cares. Always remember.


To start things off, we present to you a link that one day may save your life.

How to Land an Airplane in an Emergency Situation

Ramundovision Cares.

Lessons of Life with Manatee Max, Part III: Fondue

Along with Canada and its endless stream of bear-related suicides (3 more last Friday!), Fondue, and Cheese Fondue more specifically, stands as a bane of modern civilization. It embodies the flaws and shortcomings of our existence. Seriously. Join me as I break down the essence of this so called "fondue."

The Concept of Fondue:

A quick Wikipedia search brought the following to light:
Cheese fondue was invented out of necessity. In the remote and isolated mountain villages in the Swiss Alps people had to rely upon locally made food. During winter, fresh food became scarce. The Swiss found that melting stale cheese made it edible.


Well, shit. Are we in the Swiss Alps? NO. Are we in the French Alps? NO. Are we in the Alps at all? NO. Is 'Alps' a silly word that sounds incomplete? YES. But I digress. Next question. Is it winter? NO. Next question. Are we ever forced into eating 'stale cheese'? NO. Conclusion? MAKE A GOD DAMN SANDWICH YOU HIPPIE.

Therefore, it is clear that fondue over complicates an absurdly trivial issue. If you have bread and cheese, why in god's name do feel the need to cut up said bread and then proceed to ignite a continuous flame with the sole purpose of melting the un-stale cheese? Not only are you being vain and silly, YOU ARE UNNECESSARILY CONSUMING THE EARTH'S LIMITED FOSSIL FUELS!

Moving on, lets focus now on the communal nature of fondue. The first question that comes to mind is "why?" Why do we feel this need to share? Sure, its different, its a change from the 'norm.' But then again, thats why its not the 'norm.' Its frickin' stupid. I'll consume my saliva, you can consume yours. We face no shortage of dinnerware. There is no drought of dishes. We live in a market economy, not a damn communism. Seriously, I think even the Cubans would laugh at us. "Fondue." they'd smirk, "Fucking idiots."

In a society where promptness, hygiene, capitalism and evironmentalism represent several of the key advances in society in the last, oh, 6 billion years, some of us, for some ungodly reason, feel the need to revert to the traditions of starving, peasant, medieval, Swiss mountain farmers covered in cow dung, and in doing so contradict everything the 21st century stands for. Good job, morons.

-Max