The Art of Expansion

In a recent chat with a friend:
p**** says: (4:35:59 PM)
i'm trying to write a report

p**** says: (4:36:05 PM)
havingonl half the info i need

ra*** says: (4:39:20 PM)
wide margins, size 13 Arial font, space between paragraphs

ra*** says: (4:39:27 PM)
double spacing goes without saying

p**** says: (4:40:13 PM)
haha

I came up with the idea of wrting up a few guidlines for expanding papers, reports and essays. So for all you poor soul's in p****'s position, pay close attention:

note: the order of these is important, as they go from very sly/cunning/not obvious to very risky/obvious/stupid

i. Double spacing (if not already double spaced)
1. Increase your margin size
2. add another space at the beginning for date/name/subject whatever
3. size 13 Times New Roman font
4. Arial font (size 12, size 13 borders on suicide)
5. add a space at the end of every page
6. Increase your margin size (again)
7. claim you thought the bibliography/works cited page was included in the minimum number of pages specified by the teacher
8. add a space between paragraphs
9. add a title page (again, claim you thought it was included in the page count specified)
10. number the pages, make it look like you used the footer page number tool when in fact you numbered them yourself strategically skipping a number. This works great sometimes, it backfires a lot more times. LAST RESORT.
11. See #10, skip 2 pages. LAST LAST RESORT.

God speed and good luck.